how good are the politicians????? - 14.08.14

Breaking news – Australia introduces legislation requiring any aspiring politician to be qualified.
In breaking news today, a survey of the general population of Australia said that we need to do something about a vexing problem in our country.
I speak to you of course, about the quality of our politicians.
There are a number of areas where our politicians can lift their game. Kim Jong Il, shows us areas where we can improve, as does Eddie Murphy, or even Goebbels.
All of our politicians should be qualified.
Not enough attention is paid to political behaviour and culture in our country today.
We should aim to get our politicians onto the bottom, not near the bottom, but at the very very low end, with no one below them, of the list of least trustworthy people in our country.
We need to set up a qualifications framework, with the aim to improve our politicians capacity to lie to us, to deceive us, to act corruptly, and to bully us.
Point 1
Obviously, the first step in implementing this initiative, is to establish the framework.
For example, if you wish to be a local government councillor, you must have a certificate 2, under the Australian Qualifications Framework, AQF to those of us in the know
A certificate two is about the lowest level certificate that you can get in the qualifications framework. Most appropriate for local government politicians. Generally speaking, if you can spell your name correctly, it is not hard to get a certificate two.
To be a state politician, it would be appropriate that the aspiring politician have a certificate three.
And at the pinnacle of the political spectrum, a politician in the Commonwealth would be expected to have a certificate four.
Qualifications will give us confidence that we get what we deserve. Cheats, liars, con artists, idiots, misogynists, Misandrists, and so on.

Point 2
Having established the framework, we need to define the competencies that will lead to the various qualifications.
I will describe some of the proposed competencies briefly.
An aspiring politician should be competent in varied styles of lying. For instance, for a certificate two, we would expect the politician to be able to tell very simple lies. For a certificate four we would expect the aspiring politician to be creative. For example, to break an election promise not to increase taxes, by calling any increase in taxes a levy.
We would expect our politicians to be competent about saying nothing, when interviewed or questioned about anything that they propose, or are about to implement.
Cheating will have to be one of the competencies that aspiring politicians have to demonstrate as a result of the training. It can be expected that many politicians undergoing this training will apply for recognition of prior learning, provided they can demonstrate that they were a union official, an entrepreneur who diverted investors funds, et cetera
As our political spectrum becomes more fragmented, with the election of total dickheads we have to insist that our politicians have the competency to suck up to dickeads, to ensure that the policies and measures put in place by our elected representatives are not in any way reflective of what we voted for, but are diluted by the dickheads that they suck up to.
Point 3
Let me expand on some of the reasons that Australians give for wanting our politicians to be qualified.
More opportunities will be available for unemployed Australians to get work. An example. Employers can bring people into Australia on 457 visas provided they can prove that that no one in Australia was available for/ or wanted the job. If we have a crop of qualified Australians, then it becomes more difficult, so they say, for employers to get overseas people in to do the job. When I listen to some of our commonwealth government ministers, I become suspicious that perhaps the political party that they are in may have got them in on a 457 visa. If we had only been able to prove that there was an Australian, with recognised qualifications, then maybe we could have had a person in the job with an Australian accent.
Australians generally deserve better. They want Australians lying to them, cheating them and deceiving them. Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, Oy, Oy, Oy.
It’s a matter of national pride.
In conclusion
And so ladies and gentlemen, those of you who prefer to be known as non gender specific, asexual, or from an alien civilisation, let me encourage you in our endeavour to improve the chances of getting the politicians that we deserve. Let me convince you that you have a role to play in this revolution.
Gird your loins. Take up the challenge. Make a difference. Insist on plain packaging. Don’t take no for an answer. Remember that it is no use crying over spilt milk. A stitch in time saves nine. The Duracell bunny rabbit lasts ten times longer than other brands. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. Weapons of Mass destruction are being manufactured in new zealand as we speak, invade someone today. All the way with LBJ. Write to your local member today. Insist on Australian qualifications for Australian politicians.
We want our aspiring politicians to step up. TAFE training will help them. Scholarships will help them.
Your country needs you.
Our political scene is not the circus it could be. Step right up, and see the bearded lady. See the world’s smallest man. Take a ride on the ghost train.
Who knows, one day we may be able to get export income from our politicians Qualifications framework and training.( POQFAT) I don’t think it will take much. A lot is already there as an example. We just need to formalise it.

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